where yesterdays are all boxed up & neatly put away.

we havne't spoken for 2 days. i know that like that's nothing to half the world. but like to me, it's helluvalot. skipped gary's party. a combination of feeling really down cos of edward, church and not wanting to lie to my mom. yeah. you know what? i don't know if i'm a swingin' single now. cos i dunoe whether or not this is a breakup. shrugs? i dunoe. i mean, of course i dont' want it to be a breakup. i've like the most wonderful couple of months of my life when we were together. it brought out the best in me, honestly, it did. and now that i'm unsure of where we stand, i'm scared. i'm just very afraid- that's all. maybe my mom is right. a large portion of my life does revolve around him.how pathetic. oh oh, i cut my hair! haha yeah it's like significantly shorter now. eugene cut it for me, i think it's pretty nice. i know rachel thinks it's cute haha... yuppers. i can't believe he hasn't even bothered to message/call me the entire day. guan called me this morning asking me to convey a message to him for her. and i was like oh.. uh i think it'd be much better if you do it yourself. and she goes uh whyyy i haven't spoken to you in a month and you 2 broke? and i'm like hurh hurh hurh. ohoh went out and finally got my pink-lip-pallette from mac! haha yipeedoodles? hehe. i really miss him, i really really do. freakshow la... it's not supposed to be like this dammit! anyhow. had saturday service today, it was quite okay i think? i mean like worship and all was good. but oh man sermon was quite um... beyond boring? haha yeah. zzz! and wow some parts of my fringe and like too short to tie! haahaa. alright i'm going to sign off now. if you ever read this, i wanna tell you that i dunoe what's going on- but i love you.

posted by meishi @ 11:44 PM