where yesterdays are all boxed up & neatly put away.

so. i'm still recovering from an entire weekend of food, food & more food. i think food deserves to have a capital F in this case. because every single meal i had this weekend was absolutely divine. from the Food at marmalade pantry with cheryl and lesley ( read : melons, rib eye steak sandwich. ), to post-dinner ice cream on saturday night. to ming's little get together ( read : mac&cheese, pasta, salmon, chicken, cod... cheeseinabsoluteabundance ) on sunday night. to lunch at straits kitchen with my family ( read : lots of FOOOD) today. it's been a lovely weekend filled with lovely people. and awesome shopping because my mother was in a strangely indulgent mood on saturday. i wish i had more time to take advantage of this, but i had to rush home and change before meeting cheryl&lesley for dinner & star wars.

p/s : i miss joan... and gary's back! (:

food and friends aside.

the boyfriend is coming back very soon ( well, compared to 140 days, 30 days is really very soon, no? ) and i am therefore very pleased. and am filled with illegal amounts of anticipation, excitement and nervousness, to a certain extent. you can't expect me to be non-chalant about it. i haven't seen him since jan2nd2005. and we only spent a month together (december) once in a while the doubts do surface in my head : have i done the right thing, do i have enough willpower & commitment to see this through, will we actually last. and if it ends, how it'll end. i know they're pretty damn morbid, pessimistic thoughts. but hey, a girl's got to let her mind run once in a while, don't you think?

digression : i don't like the word forever, cos i think it's meaningless, most of the time. i don't like promises that end with forever. the only 'acceptable' forever, for me, is when people include the words hope, wish, or even... i don't know, try? something along those lines- you catch my drift. because too many forevers have come and gone for me. and i'm just left with the cracked shell. i only quite believe that word when it's associated with my family and with god. and maybe with like my dog (cos dogs are way more faithful that men) i can't associate the word with friends cos 'friends forever' doesn't mean anything, especially not when you're primary 5 and are busy decorating your friend's autograph book with colourful milky pens. associating the word forever with boyfriends/girlfriends is completely unacceptable to me if they don't involve the prefixes mentioned earlier. what're the chances of you actually meaning what you say when you're 17/18. you can't possibly believe that you're going to spend forever with mr x/ms y. you can dream, you can wish, you can hope. but you can't be certain. and promises like that are just waiting to be broken. people who take their wedding vows can't even be sure that they'll follow them forever. i'm not saying that forever is a swear word, or that it's completely out of the question. i just think that it should be used with great care. cos most times, forever is nothing but a couple of letters, clumsily strung together.

posted by meishi @ 12:16 AM