sometimes, we get so caught up with our lives & with all the work that we're piled up with, that we totally forget to pause and look around- we get so absorbed with ourselves, and our apparent problems to bother about what everybody else is going through. we wilfully ask god for things, and think that we'll get them automatically because we're placing him first in our lives. this is, clearly, not the case. because while the promise that "seek ye first the kingdom of god & all his righteousness & all these things will be added unto you" stands, the fact that god doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want him to also stands. and i think that i learnt this the hard way this week. i got my hopes up before i was even sure or anything, and i feel ridiculously stupid for that, but i suppose like karen said during cell today, and like what i shared with my small group two weeks ago- god's ways are not ours, and we shouldn't expect them to be. and while i'd love to say that i'm fine with the way everything is, and that i'm not tinged with disappointment and a slight bit of anger, perhaps, i can't. but i can say. that i'll try to trust ... and move on. but i really did want it very badly, really.
and to my lovelies : sorry i've been so grumpy and all lately ):
esp ming - my lit guruu. steph - my studypartner/gossipgirl!
to the boy : grumpygrumpygirlfriend.
ming/steph/joan/whoeverelse : sorry i can't post anything mushy tonight, am just too blah to do so. but i promise, it'll come!
annoyance of the previous weekend/week : the past came back to haunt me.
slapslapslap. "don't lie to yourself" > whatever.
This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time I will fall
Into a place that fails us all inside
And I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
Will take time.
This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear to see
posted by meishi @ 8:11 PM
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