one last cry
disappointment hits you every now and then. more now than then, actually. anyway. one bud down, and one more tragic night. cancelled his call just now, was incensed. okay, i kinda' know why i'm so annoyed, affected, whatever you might call it. but what i can't seem to figure out is why i'm letting it affect me go much, if you know what i mean. it's okay if you don't, but yeah. i mean. all he did was not reply my messages the entire day. okay, that sounds really bad when you put it on paper. okay, not paper. but blah, you catch my drift :( maybe that whore was right, maybe he really thinks i'm overly demanding, that i expect too much, perfection almost. like i mentioned to him earlier, it hurts more 'cos i actually bother. ack sigh. going off to do chinese tuition homework soon. i can't seem to get down to studying, and i'm leaving on sunday. i want to finish at least some stuff before i leave, right? dang dang. bought a mango skirt today. off to buy jeans and a new digicam tomorrow. whee, that should be fun, provided i actually get down to doing it. i mean, little miss piggy here woke up at 12pm today! -sheepish grin-
caught mona lisa smile again last night, and ouch, it hit me... just how much i miss the friends i used to hang out so often with last year, the ones i spent new years eve with, before rushing down to meet edward and subsequently stay over at his place. the ones i cried with, clowned around with, got wasted with, giggled with, spent hours on the phone with, mugged with, attended and skipped class with, hung out with at kap after school with, shopped for make up with, ran in the rain with, bitched with, had crazy photo sessions with, attended founders with, stoned with, ate nasi lemak with, baked with, gaffawed with, swore with, slept in class with, poured through magazine pages with, blog surfed during computer lab periods with, scrawled on tables with, coloured hair with glitter pens with, sat at the back of class and mucked around with, hit town with, splurged on nonsensical neoprints with silly scribbles with, dressed up on aloha day/retro day with, caught umpteen movies with, got shelled with, went through break ups and inner struggles with, deciphered smses with... the list just goes on and on, doesn't it? i could go on all night just naming all the silly things we did, the little things we accomplished, each and everyone of the goliaths in our lives that we defeated with each other's help. i know i've been a complete disappointment, absolute sell-out to some. but thanks for the memories in any case. i doubt i could've made it through the year without you guys. the struggle for perfection, but inner and outer, academics and otherwise. it's torturous and never ending. but it's those around you that make life that much more bearable. and in my case, that was all i needed to pick me up whenever edward and i had a fight, or i flunked a test i studied for, just basically whenever i felt like i was being slapped in the face. this paragraph shall end off with two words, words that are able to impact someone greatly- thank you.
oh man, i sound so depressed. but i'm not. i'm just melancholic perhaps. reminiscent? maybe that too. but all that doesn't matter, what matters is that i'm not sad, or tragic... just fine.
when we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?
posted by meishi @ 9:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home